I hate anchovies!
by noonrise
Summary: Ray Neela: a little post season 12 finale wishful thinking.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own anything to do with ER, I just like writing about it.

**Content Warning: **Minor swearing.

**Spoilers: **Set post season 12, slightly spoilerish (I hope!)

**A/N: **This is my first foray into the fanfiction world, please tell me what you think.

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**I hate anchovies!**

Neela knew it was going to be one of those days. The landlord at Abby's apartment still hadn't fixed the heating, the shower kept blasting her with alternate bursts of freezing cold and scalding hot water and to top it all, she'd forgotten to get any milk the night before, so all she had to look forward to was a bowl of dry cereal and black coffee for breakfast. The weather forecast was predicting rain later and the sky already looked gloomy and heavy with promise. Great!

She scurried out of the apartment, hair half wet, coat unbuttoned and dashed towards the El station, knowing that she was going to be late. And now she had the delights of a packed train to deal with. Spending the journey with her nose pressed into some stranger's armpit, what a way to start the day!

She found herself thinking nostalgically about the Tube back home, how friendly people were, how there was that good old London custom of shaking hands with everyone on the carriage before you settled into your spacious, plush seat! What a load of bollocks, she thought, the Tube is worse than this, its underground and boy, the atmosphere really develops personality when you're stuck in a tunnel.

And they always put those silly dangly grabby things you're supposed to hold on to way too high, so no-one under 6 foot can reach them.

_One of the joys of being short_, she thought, _you really don't see the best of people when your head is level with their nipples._

Neela stifled the smile that had flirted with her face. Smiling to yourself on the El was a sure-fire thing to get people edging away from you, as if you were something a little dangerous, I mean, you're going to work, what the hell is there to be happy about?

And work, that had been so weird lately. She really wasn't used to being the cause of gossip, more the half willing recipient of news about her colleagues, most of which she'd rather not know, thank you very much. But since her… whatever it was, with Gates, people had been a little, what, cold?

I mean she wasn't going to mourn Michael forever and he himself had told her to get on with her life. Pratt had been understanding but slightly disgusted, she hadn't wanted to explain to him of all people that sometimes something is better than nothing, but this had turned out to be nothing after all, just a little cold comfort in an equally cold world.

Ray, well, frankly he'd been avoiding her. The little messages checking up on her, left on the answer machine, had slowly dried up and he'd stopped trying to snatch conversations with her in the corridors. She reflected that that was probably because she'd never returned one of his phone calls or had always made up some excuse that she was needed… anywhere but here.

So he'd gone frosty on her. He still shot her the odd smile now and then, one that flashed quickly across his face, gone as quickly as it arrived, when they couldn't avoid each other. Most of the time all she saw was his retreating back as he quickly snatched up a patient chart and hurried off to be somewhere she wasn't. She figured that she probably deserved it. He'd tried to be a friend for her, nothing more and she'd pushed him away which, now she thought about it, was stupid.

She'd been so caught up thinking she nearly missed her stop. _Good grief girl_, she thought to herself, _pull yourself together and stop day dreaming._ She grabbed her bag and hurtled of the platform, willing herself to get to County on time, or at least not too late. Neela made it through the doors with a few minutes to spare.

"Good afternoon Dr. Rasgotra," Frank snarked, "Nice of you to join us this fine day."

"Sod off, Frank." She snapped back, striding through reception, hurriedly ripping off her scarf and coat, except her coat got tangled in her bagstrap and she wound up standing in front of the locker room door bedraggled and twisted up looking for all the world like an Eskimo in an inexpertly put on straight jacket. To Neela's growing horror she heard a familiar voice coming out of exam room two and heading right towards her.

"Just take these three times a day for the next week, Mrs Kendal and you'll be fine. If it comes back, just go see your regular doctor and… excuse us Dr Rasgotra… he'll be able to advise you as to further treatment."

Ray had barely broken step. He'd guided his patient swiftly around the struggling Neela, who just stood there with a look of growing horror on her face, Ray not even raising a glimmer of a smirk.

That however could not be said for Frank, who was now not even bothering to hold back but was heaving great snorts of laughter all over his desk.

"Will someone give me a hand here, please?" Neela pleaded, getting rapidly more frustrated. Frank just shrugged and picked up a phone that wasn't ringing. Neela tried to make a rude hand gesture, but her arms were pretty tied up.

Ray had finished signing out his patient and walked towards her. Without pausing, he lifted her bag strap over her head and let it fall at her side. She caught it, just.

"Thanks." She said sarcastically to the now familiar sight of Ray's back.

He didn't bother to turn round, just replied "Welcome" before snatching up another chart and heading off towards the exam rooms commenting that there was a patient in there that _really_ needed restraining.

He hadn't looked at her once or even acknowledged her presence other than that off-hand "welcome". _Dammit_ she thought, _what is his problem?_ Now she was flustered, embarrassed and angry, all before 8am.

What a wonderful day!

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**Well, what do you think? There's more if you want it...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N.** Thanks for the reviews guys, glad you all like it! Anyhow, here's the next installment.

**Liz.**

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She was well into her shift when a guy involved in car accident was rushed into the ER. She was called into Trauma 1 for a complicated chest intubation. 

Ray was leading, calling out instructions, Neela was struggling a little, she just didn't have enough hands and the nurses were all engaged in monitoring the equipment and making sure the guy was still breathing. Ray paused for a moment, aware of Neela's difficulty but unsure as to whether his assistance would be appreciated.

"Ray I need a little help here, could you just…" she made a move to grab his hand to guide it to where she needed pressure applying.

His hand flew back as though he'd been shot. Looking straight into her face, with eyes like thunder, he growled

"Jesus, Neela, I know what to do, I'm not some first year intern, you know!"

"Well get on and do it then, Dr Barnett" snapped Neela.

The first year intern crack had been a pop at her and Gates, she knew that and it had stung, like he'd meant it to, but what had really shocked her was the way he recoiled when she had gone to touch him.

The rest of the procedure was done on autopilot, barking instructions, hands moving by their own volition, working to block out the rage and confusion that was bubbling away inside her.

"Well if you don't need me anymore, I'll just go… check on my other patients" Ray said, ripping off his latex gloves and dropping them in the disposal unit.

"Yeah, sure, we're fine here" said Neela, her voice blank, not betraying the boiling inside.

With one hand, Ray slammed open the door to the trauma room. _There goes his back, again,_ thought Neela. _It's all I ever see of him these days_. He stopped, half in, half out of the room and turned back to face her.

"That was nice work, Neela" and his mouth twitched slightly at the corners, almost a smile.

She raised her eyes to look at him, half expecting him to have already gone, but no, he was still there, looking at her quizzically. She shot a thin, weak smile at him but realised this was hidden behind her surgical mask, settled for a "thank you" instead.

She was hoping for his once common phrase "anything for my roomie…" but that was way too much to ask. His lips twitched up just a fraction more as they looked at each other.

"Welcome" he said, softly with a questioning tilt of his head to one side, then turned and walked on through the door.

Neela breathed out loudly behind her mask. The patient was gone and she just had a few moments to clean up. That was the first time in how many months that they'd looked at each other, let alone said something pleasant.

_My God_, she thought, _how did it come to this?_

"What did you expect?" Chuny blurted out. "The whole ER knows the poor boy has been in love with you for just about forever. He's been like a wounded animal these past few months, trying to let you grieve, but trying to be there for you and you start acting like Little Miss Popsicle to him and then throw Gates in his face. We're counting ourselves lucky that he's professional enough to stay here until they can find a replacement for him or we'd be really stuck." Chuny's attitude was cold.

Neela yanked the mask roughly from over her mouth. "What?" she said.

"Yeah, he's put in a transfer request, didn't you know?"

"Where, where to?" Neela stammered, looking down at the floor.

"Anywhere, I think." Chuny replied, "Anywhere but here. Look," she softened, "we've all lost people we love, it goes with the job and we've all had our hearts broken, but honey, you've been wearing your pain like one of Michael's medals. Do you want to be his widow for ever?"

And with that she left the trauma room, leaving a disconsolate Neela alone with her thoughts.

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Thank you all for your positive feedback, I shall keep updating regularly. Oh and thank you for reading!

Liz

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Neela needed to breathe. She'd taken for granted that Ray would always be there for her. Admittedly she'd pushed him away and ignored him these past few months. What she'd suffered about her feelings for Ray before Michael died had made it so much harder for her to accept his help afterwards. 

Plus she had been doubtful that he wouldn't try and make a move on her while she was weak, but now she saw that that wasn't fair of her. Ray cared for her and had wanted to help, nothing more. She knew in her heart she'd got him wrong.

Sure, he could be shallow and lazy and selfish, but that was just surface gloss and if she of all people couldn't see that, then perhaps she didn't deserve him, even as a friend.

She headed up onto the roof, why she didn't know. Last time she'd been there she'd told Ray to stay away from her and he'd really taken it to heart, hadn't he.

It was drizzling lightly, the kind of penetrating thin rain that soaks you to the skin, and the light was beginning to drain from the sky. Neela let out a deep sigh and spotted a now all too familiar back leaning over railings taking in the skyline.

Ray looked over his shoulder and straightened up instantly, his eyes bright and shining in the gloom. He made to walk to the door.

"It's getting a bit wet up here, I wouldn't stay too long." he said, his voice cracking slightly.

"I just wanted some air." Neela replied.

"Great minds, huh?" Ray said, as he walked past, giving her a wide berth. She wanted to reach out and stop him, but his reaction earlier made her think again. Neela didn't think she could cope with him flinching from her, not twice in one day.

"Ray…" she called to him. He stopped, but didn't turn round. "Is it true you want to leave?"

"Yeah, it's true."

"So where are you going?"

"Anywhere that'll have me I guess. Kovac hasn't signed the…"

"For God's sake Ray, I'm fed up with having a conversation with your back!" she interrupted. "Will you turn round and face me please?" she added, a little more gently.

He turned on her quickly, his face contorted and sharp, bent to her level.

"Is this what you want to see, you want to see the pain? Don't even think of asking why I'm leaving, 'cos I think we both know why." He tilted his head slightly at that last phrase, his attempt at a smile more of a grimace.

She saw his eyes were red rimmed and glistening. He straightened up and wiped his hands up over his face and through his hair in a frustrated gesture, flinging his hands by his side.

"Why Gates?" he asked folding his arms, "Why him?"

Neela dropped her eyes from his face, then back again

"He was… convenient" she replied coolly.

"Mmm, convenience sex, part of a well rounded nutritional plan." he said with a sarcastic twang. Neela exploded.

"That is so rich coming from you, with your black haired groupies and your underage sluts, listening to you banging away night after night with your convenient girl of the moment. Gates was there and he numbed the pain for a while. Why, jealous I didn't fall into your arms?"

Their eyes held, blazing with anger. Ray bent his head to hers again, their faces inches apart and spoke in a low, emotional voice full of rage and hurt

"Did you think I was just hoping for Michael to die so I could move straight on in? Did you really think that I just didn't want to help you get through the pain? I love you Neela and your pain was killing me! If you thought for one second that I would have taken advantage of you in that situation, then you really don't know me, do you?" He turned and walked a few more paces before saying over his shoulder

"And maybe you're not the person I thought you were either" then he headed down the stairwell.

Neela stared at his retreating back, then listened to his angry footfalls disappear down the stairs before she started to cry. Deep, uncontrollable sobs hitched from her chest, tears mixing with the steadily falling rain.

She half hoped that Ray would come back up to the roof top, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. A lot of "I'm sorries" were going to have to be said before this would be mended and she knew that most of them would have to come from her. Her legs gave way beneath her and she just sat, slumped in an ever growing puddle, crying into her hands for her own stupidity, pain and loss.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, not much more to go now… of this bit of the story, anyway. Might not be able to do my usual update tomorrow, but I'll try my best!

Thank you for reading!

Liz

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Her shift was over. Ray would still be working, she knew that. He'd taken to working slightly longer hours these days. She couldn't help wondering if he didn't like being in their apartment alone. She still thought of it as their apartment, as her home too, if she was being honest. 

Abby's apartment was ok, but it was just somewhere to sleep, even if getting to sleep meant two pairs of socks and a hot water bottle, just to stay warm. She looked around for Ray, but didn't see him anywhere.

Chuny was filing some papers at the admit desk. Neela asked in a tiny voice,

"Have you seen…?"

"Nope haven't seen him" Chuny replied quickly. _Too quickly_, Neela thought.

"Some of the guys are going for a drink at Ike's tonight, you goin'?"

Neela shook her head, "Not really in the mood".

"Well, you have a good night, then." Chuny said before bending her head pointedly back to the papers.

Neela remembered all the times when Ray had practically dragged her off shift to go home and get some rest, or some beer, but tonight she wandered out of County to catch the El back to, well, Abby's apartment, her shoulders slumped and her head down, feeling very broken and alone.

Ray watched her leave from behind an exam curtain and made a start to go after her. Chuny stopped him.

"Nah, ah honey," she said wagging her finger at him, "if it's gonna happen, you gotta wait for her to come to you. Its better that way, you'll both feel right about it." Ray nodded and smiled resignedly at her.

"Guess you're right, Chuny." he said, putting his hands in his pockets and shambled away, scuffing his boots on the floor with every step.

Chuny looked after him; shaking her head gently, "Young love…" she said softly to herself and carried on filing with a wistful smile on her lips.

Back ho…, back at Abby's apartment, Neela went straight to the fridge. _Bollocks_, she thought, _no milk, or beer, or wine, or ice cream, I've really been letting things slip!_

She flopped down onto the couch with a box of dry cereals, eating them by the handful, while she hunted for the TV controls. She switched on the set to see nothing but static snow. The cable feed was dead. She waited a little longer to see if it magically cleared, but this snow storm, like the rain outside, was set in for the night.

_OK,_ she thought, _I can sit here, cold and wet and bored, or I can go out, meet the guys down at Ike's and pick up some milk and stuff from JumboMart and not have a completely miserable evening._

She was half hoping that she might bump into Ray there, too, but she didn't really think so and the chances of Ike's putting on Celebrity Poker were slim to non-existent.

But hey, Ike's had beer and that was what she really, really needed right now.

She grabbed her still soaked coat and temperamental umbrella and heading back into town, treating herself to a taxi at this time of night. Ike's was slow, really quiet. She couldn't see anyone she knew in there, guessing they were all snuggled up at home, nice and warm and out of the rain.

She ordered a beer and began to drink, to drown her thirst and also her sorrows. Neela knew she looked like the typical lonely pick up girl, but was prepared to live with it for a couple of beers.

A couple of beers later, with shredded labels all over the bar, Neela started puzzling over the baseball game on the TV. She wondered why American men felt it necessary to get all padded up to play their sport.

Baseball was frankly just rounders for men. She'd played rounders at school and all you'd had to watch out for was a flailing bat, or a badly timed throw, certainly no need to get out the cotton wool for that.

Oh yeah, and American football, good grief, all those helmets and thigh pads and shoulder pads big enough to make Joan Collins weep, why? British rugby players didn't go in for any of that stuff and they _certainly_ didn't throw the ball forwards.

_OK, I'm a little drunk now_, thought Neela, _time to go home_. _Must pick up milk on the way_. She walked a bit stiffly, like someone tipsy trying to control their wayward legs, out of the bar and into the torrential Chicago streets.

She popped her umbrella, which instantly threw a spoke, to be quickly followed by another. Neela threw her arms wide in supplication to the heavens, silently asking the rain, why her? But her only answer was a soaking.

She dumped her useless umbrella in a nearby trash can and wandered off to the JumboMart, chanting under her breath "milk, beer, ice cream, milk, beer, ice cream…" until she got through the doors.

Milk, beer and ice cream bought, she headed back into the downpour. She was drenched through, miserable and not quite drunk enough not to care. _I need to go home_ she thought as she trudged dejectedly along the streets.

She started replaying the rooftop conversation with Ray, hating the way that she'd thrown his friendly approaches back in his face, and just twisted everything to make him the bad guy to make herself feel better.

Had it worked? Hell no, she felt worse now than she did before and now she had even more to fix. Wait; there was something in that conversation she hadn't really taken in.

Had he said, "I love you"? _Jesus no, he didn't I'm imagining it_, she thought. The little sober part of her said, "Oh yes he did, he said those words with tears in his eyes and you know it."

_It must have been "loved"_ she thought, _he can't love me after the way I've been behaving_.

Her sober voice said, "Nope he said love, as in present tense, as in what I feel right now and that was still after everything you said to him up there, so unless he's changed his mind since then, it was definitely love."

Neela thought, _I think I need to see him, I need to say sorry, I need to say I…_

Sober Neela said, "No you don't want to say that just now, you need to mend a few bridges first before you go bandying around words like love. Lets stick to sorry for now, shall we?"

Neela was surprised she hadn't talked herself out of going to see Ray, but what she was even more surprised at was that she was already there.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **The last chapter was even more Neela-centric than usual, I know, but I hope you enjoy this one! This is the final instalment of _anchovies_, but there may be a continuation in the not too distant future. Again, thanks for all the reviews; now I might have chance to catch up on reading some of _your_ work!

Liz

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Neela checked her feet to make sure she hadn't put on her ruby slippers. 

"There's no place like home!" she chuckled, letting herself in to the apartment block.

_Oh God_, she thought, _he's probably got some skank with him, and I'll turn up looking like a drowned rat holding a sodden bag of comfort groceries!_

Neela stood there for a moment, debating whether or not to go up. _Well, I'll soon know if he's got someone with him, I'll hear the banging from down the hallway_.

Feeling like a trespasser, Neela trod the old familiar stairwells and corridors to the front door of what had been her home. She stood there listening, no thumping of bedsteads or slightly dodgy romantic songs, just the sound of someone playing an acoustic guitar and singing softly to themselves.

Fascinated, Neela leaned against the door, resting her head against it, trying to hear the words, but Ray was singing so softly she couldn't make them out. It sounded beautiful, something he'd written, with such a soulful longing in the tune it caused her eyes to prickle.

She let the shopping bag she'd been holding slide into the door, beer bottles banging into the wood.

Startled, she stood up quickly, trying to straighten her hair and wipe her eyes with one hand. The music stopped abruptly.

"Who is it?" Ray called.

"It's me. Um… it's Neela" she answered.

"Hold on one second" he replied.

There was the sound of frantic scrabbling, like things being hurriedly moved, and clothes being hastily thrown on, then the click of the door being unlatched. Neela took a deep breath.

Ray opened the door wearing an inside out T-shirt.

"I know who me, is." he said, smiling cagily, his one arm resting defensively on the door jamb, his face changing to one of concern when he saw how bedraggled she was.

"Jesus, Neela, you been playing at Gene Kelly again? Come in and get yourself dry before you catch a cold." He ushered Neela into the apartment and went to fetch a towel.

"You know Ray, there's no scientific evidence that getting wet and cold brings on a cold. Anyway, I've got some milk, beer and ice cream here, shall I put them in the ice box?"

"Sure," Ray replied from the bathroom, "at least you still know what to bring round to keep this guy happy."

"Actually I was going to take them back to Abby's apartment." she said dropping the bag on the kitchen counter and slumping over it.

"But her apartment is so cold, the shower is crap, the cable is broken, I'm so lonely and bored and I miss you and I'm so sorry for what I said to you earlier, it was really nasty of me and you've tried to be so kind to me despite the way I've been behaving."

The torrent had started now and nothing was going to stop it, her words coming in between sobs.

"And I'm sorry about Gates and the way you found out about it, but that was just a little bit of nothing that meant nothing and is done and I'm sorry for the way I pushed you aside after Michael died but I was blaming myself and saying things like it was my fault he died, that he died because I started to feel things for you, which I know is stupid, but we think stupid things when bad things happen, and I'm sorry for thinking all the bad things you accused me of thinking which was so wrong of me and you're right, I do know you better than that, so I'm really, really sorry."

Her lungs were bursting. She put her head onto the counter and covered it with her arms, heaving in deep breaths while crying. Ray came out of the bathroom carrying a towel, face serious, and put his hand gently on the back of her sodden coat.

"Come on." He said gently, "Lets get you out of that coat and dry you off."

Still hitching for breath, Neela said "Ray, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, I heard and I'm sorry too, lets just say that neither of us has behaved so great over the last couple of months, shall we?" he said, wrapping the towel around her shoulders and leading her over to the sofa. She sat down gratefully.

"Do you want a drink? Apparently I have beer and milk so there are now a wide range of refreshments that I can offer you."

"I'd love a cup of tea." Neela said. They both smiled at each other, holding their gaze for a comfortable while, smiles growing a little.

"Tea I can do." said Ray, breaking off towards the kitchen, looking back towards her to say "I just so happen to have some of your favourite in stock."

"Oh God Ray, not that manky half packet of tea bags I left here all those months ago."

"No these were freshly purchased some weeks ago and still remain unopened." he said, flourishing the foil packet at her to prove it.

"Have a look on the Tivo, there might be something you're interested in watching on there."

"Please tell me it's not the extended edition of Dawn of the Dead." Neela deadpanned.

"Look and find out" said Ray, as he made her a mug of steaming tea.

"Celebrity Poker Tournament, wow, thanks Ray." She almost squealed.

He came over and sat down beside her on the couch, not too close, but not miles away, passing her the mug of tea.

"Well, I never got round to deprogramming the stupid thing, so it just kind of kept on recording." Neela looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, okay you got me stuck on the damn thing, not that it was the same without you screaming at people what to bid and when to fold."

Neela grinned and drank her tea. She put the mug down on the floor and snuggled the towel around her a little tighter.

"Wow, these smell fresh, have you actually got a room-mate that found the laundry?" There was a pause. Neela knew she'd touched a raw nerve.

"I don't actually have a room-mate at the moment, none of the guys that applied kind of … met the criteria." He said, not looking at her. "And besides, they all looked like tequila drinkers and I know what that leads to." He glanced sideways at her, grinning, the past few months softening slightly into memory.

"So is it…" Neela asked.

"Yeah, I made a couple of changes, but I think you'll like them."

"Can I see?"

"Sure." Ray watched her shuffle across the apartment, clutching the towel around her head and shoulders, smiling to himself in a satisfied way.

She pushed open the door to her old room and took in a surprised gasp. Her bedspread lay neatly across her old bed.

"Well, I kinda liked what you'd done with the place so… I just copied you." Ray said, nonchalantly.

Her eyes rested on her favourite T-shirt folded up on one of the pillows, and she inwardly winced at the memory of the last time she'd seen it. _Sure _she thought to herself, _just copied_.

She turned and smiled at him and shuffled back towards the sofa. "So you still looking for a room-mate then?" she asked

"Depends, know anyone who's interested?"

"Might do." She said with mock caginess as she flopped onto the sofa next to him. Neela let her head flop against his shoulder as Ray settled more comfortably in his seat. She half expected him to pull away at this familiar gesture, but he didn't move, much to her relief.

"God I've missed this." said Neela, yawning,

"Yeah, me too" said Ray, softly.

A few moments later, he heard the sounds of gentle snoring. Neela had fallen asleep.

"OK roomie, time for bed." said Ray, as he scooped her up off the sofa and carried her into her room.

He threw aside the new covers and lay Neela gently down on the bed, taking off her shoes before tucking her in. He looked down at her resting face, a smile drifting across his. He swept a little damp hair off her cheek and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"'Night, roomie." he whispered and turned to leave the room.

"Ray!" came the half dazed semi shout of the partially awake, "Don't leave me." said Neela.

"I'm only next door, if you need me." said Ray.

"No Ray, I mean, don't leave me …here…on my own. Please?" He stopped, unsure of what to do for the best.

"Please?"

Ray stood in the doorway for what felt like an eternity. He couldn't forget the last few months. All that had happened could not just be swept aside by a drunken apology from a soggy girl.

He made a decision. For tonight, it was ok, but there were going to have to be some serious conversations before things got anywhere close to what they'd had in the past.

Ray walked to the other side of the bed and lay down next to her, on top of the covers.

"Okay," he said I'll stay here 'til you fall asleep, if that helps."

There was a muffled "'kay" from under the covers.

Ray lay on his side, next to Neela, keeping a distance between them, just resting a hand on her shoulder for reassurance, his mind racing. He was trying to be the good friend, thinking to himself, _just be a friend, don't ask for anything more, just be a friend_, when out of nowhere, a hand snaked out from under the covers, grabbing his hand and pulling it tight around her waist, yanking him close behind her.

Neela made a contented sighing sound and started to snore, the most genteel snore he'd ever heard. Ray lay there, stunned, eyes wide open, his chin resting on top of her head, breathing her hair, which smelt of Ike's, rain and that special oil she used to make it shiny .

"I love you" he whispered, hugging her tiny waist, when he thought she was asleep.

"I love you too, Ray." Neela mumbled. Ray was embarassed and shocked at first, then as he calmed, he began to smile and closed his eyes.

"Neela, if we're going to do this again, there's something you really, really need to know." he half whispered into her hair.

"Wha's tha'?" said Neela indistinctly, giving his hand a squeeze.

"I hate anchovies."

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**A/N: ** Well, I hope you enjoyed this final chapter. 

Here's a little background as to how this story came about. I've been trying to write the book that's stuck in my head for about ten years and it refuses to come out willingly. A few months back I took a drive out, trying to get some inspiration and some thought space, when the little phrase "I hate anchovies" popped into my head. I knew of course what, and whom, I was thinking about, but I shoved it to one side, because it wasn't what I was supposed to be concentrating on.

But would it go away? No way! By the time I'd driven home, I had the plot sketched out and before I knew it, I'd spent seven hours bashing away at my laptop keyboard and this was the result. I didn't post it, because I knew nothing about fan fiction, thinking it was full of buttons being slowly undone and throbbing body parts! Suffice to say, I know better now!

Thanks for giving me such warm welcome and your encouragment has given me the confidence to carry on. Who knows, one day I might stop borrowing other people's characters and get around to writing my own.

Love,

Liz


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